I’m the woman who can draft a flawless English email while having an existential crisis and a clay mask on her face. Not because I want to be multitasking — but because, frankly, I no longer have the luxury of handling things one at a time.
I work in an environment where everyone smiles politely on Zoom calls, then sends passive-aggressive emails that start with, “Just following up.” I don’t know if I’m more afraid of getting fired or of never getting fired and being stuck in the same Teams calendar until retirement.
Anxiety? Oh, it’s there, like a lifetime premium subscription you never asked for. Honestly, if anxiety were a person, it would be that colleague who never misses a meeting, keeps their camera on all the time, and seems to have read everyone else’s notes before the call even starts.
Over time, I’ve learned to carry it with me everywhere. At work, at meetings, at the grocery store. It’s like a badly trained dog: it doesn’t come when you call it, but it always shows up at the worst possible moment.
Relationships? Don’t even get me started! I’ve dated men who seemed like travel partners for life and turned out to be hitchhikers without a license. One was talented at asking for money. Another was a gaslighting expert. A third thought the best way to show affection was to never answer my messages — but always like my Instagram stories.
Here’s what I’ve learned over all these years: some people enter your life to teach you lessons, not to build a family. And sometimes the lesson is: don’t sacrifice yourself for someone who would walk past you if you fell in the street — but would check to see if your credit card fell too.
And yet, I’m not bitter. I still believe in real connections, friendships that outlast a cortisol spike, and coworkers who actually mean it when they say, “It’s okay not to be okay.” It’s not a slogan — it’s a daily truth.
I’ve learned to laugh. To take myself less seriously. To cry when I need to, and then remind myself that I got up again, just like I always do.
This is my story. The woman caught between meetings, panic attacks, and love. Sometimes exhausted, sometimes funny, always moving. And yes, with a delicate little cross around my neck — in case I forget that all of this actually has a bigger purpose.