I work at a mid-sized company in a department where collaboration and project presentations are key. There’s a colleague who, at first, seemed very charismatic and capable. But over time, everyone started noticing a pattern that has become increasingly exhausting.
This person has an incredible talent for avoiding responsibility. If a project is difficult or boring, that’s exactly when he either calls in sick or claims he has another urgent priority. If he can’t get out of it, he passes the task to someone else on the team. In my case, he often says something like, “Hey, you handle this — that way the managers will see your work and you’ll stand out.” At first, I thought maybe he was right, that it could help me get noticed by management. But after months of realizing that I’m doing all the heavy lifting while he collects the applause, I can no longer buy into that story.
A clear example happened in a recent meeting. He was supposed to present an implementation project and confidently stated, “We have 100% coverage.” On the surface, it sounded perfect. But when we reviewed the documents, it turned out the “100% coverage” applied only to the first page of the report, while the rest was half-done or not done at all. Essentially, he had dressed up inaccurate information just to look good in front of management.
This is a form of impression management: he creates a cosmetically appealing reality (“100% coverage”) that looks good at first glance. This is typical of people with manipulative or narcissistic tendencies: they overstate results, hide negative details, and rely on the fact that the audience (managers) won’t dig deeper.
Another frustrating habit: if he doesn’t know the answer to a question, he pauses dramatically to give the impression that he’s “thinking.” In reality, he has no idea. When someone else on the team steps in to answer, he immediately jumps in: “Exactly what I was going to say if X hadn’t interrupted me!” As if he already knew the answer, but we just lacked patience. It’s a very manipulative way to control conversations.
On top of that, he has a talent for twisting situations in his favor. If he makes a mistake, he finds a way to blame it on lack of resources, unclear instructions from managers, or another colleague who didn’t provide information on time. If someone points it out, he either plays the victim or frames it as, “Look how hard I’m trying to help the team despite challenges.” And, unsurprisingly, management often believes him because he speaks convincingly.
Here we see a classic case of parasitic appropriation of others’ achievements. He creates a “false ego” by leeching off colleagues’ successes. Psychologically, it’s a defensive mechanism: he cannot tolerate being seen as incompetent, so he hijacks others’ contributions to feed his image.
I’m tired. I’ve started refusing to do his work. I tell him directly that I have my own tasks and he needs to handle his responsibilities. But every time I do, he rolls his eyes, makes passive-aggressive comments, and makes it look like I’m the one unwilling to cooperate. Because he’s skilled at manipulating discussions, he even manages to plant this impression subtly in managers’ minds.
Now I wonder: am I wrong for refusing to help him at all and letting him fend for himself, even if that means some of his projects will fail? Or should I just accept that this is his style and try not to get drained, even if I continue doing most of the work?
This case illustrates organizational energy vampirism: someone who consumes your resources while giving zero recognition. From a team dynamics perspective, the healthiest approach is to set firm boundaries and clearly document your own contributions so management can see who is actually doing the work versus who is just playing the victim.