AITA For continually mentioning the issue every time it arises?
AITA – I am the only female working in a manufacturing environment with one shared bathroom. I am usually the first one in in the mornings and a few times a month, I come in to find someone pissed on the toilet seat. I have complained to my superior over 10 times. I don’t feel it should be me that has to clean it but no real solution has been offered. My manager now gets upset any time I mention it, basically telling me to leave it for him to clean up if it bothers me, but then my only option is to wait and sometimes that is not an option for me. He’s making me feel like an AH every time it happens and I bring it to his attention.
What’s happening here is bigger than bathroom etiquette — it’s about power dynamics. As the only woman in this space, being dismissed repeatedly creates a sense of learned helplessness: no matter how many times you raise the issue, nothing changes, which leads to frustration and a feeling of being undervalued. The bathroom situation becomes symbolic of a broader problem — your concerns aren’t taken seriously.
It is not the 30 seconds of cleanup time that bothers me, it’s the fact that I am not making this mess, but don’t really have a choice but to clean up. NO one else would bother because they can just stand to use that toilet so they don’t care. What bothers me is that my co-workers are just being disrespectful with no repercussions to the person who made the mess, only I have repercussions and I have no control over it. I want to turn around and go home every time I see it now.
This is about respect and boundaries. Being forced to clean up after others creates a feeling of boundary violation — you’re left carrying the burden for behavior you didn’t cause. Your coworkers show moral disengagement by ignoring the issue because it doesn’t affect them, while you’re stuck with the consequences. That’s why the emotional weight is much larger than “30 seconds of cleanup”: it’s about fairness, dignity, and the lack of accountability in your workplace.
What community had to say:
smol9749been: NTA. Grown men should be able to piss without getting it on the toilet seat
MommyMephistopheles: NTA. I bet you’d hear it from your boss very quickly if you left blood on the seat.
turandokht: NTA, get a device to pee while standing and piss all over the seat yourself. Filthy fuckers.
nice-and-clean: If there was bloody tampons or period blood on the seat. I’ll bet someone else would be upset.
xparapluiex: NTA. But time to escalate. Get some fake blood or jam and put ‘blood’ on the seat. See how quick a messy seat becomes a problem.
darko2019: NTA. It’s a common courtesy request. It would be very easy for him to send out an email to tell everyone to have better bathroom hygiene.
tingtangler: Just hover and piss all over the seat yourself. Fuck it.
rocking_womble: NTA. NOT pissing on the loo seat is basic hygiene irrespective of gender. The men you work with are filthy animals & should sit down to pee, learn to aim or clean up when they miss.
EwwDavvidd: NTA. Get a she-wee and pee standing up. You can still leave a mess and tell your manager. 😉
dropaheartbeat: Is there a HR? You should talk to them if there is.
scrollgirl24: NTA. Start leaving blood drips on the toilet and see how fast they care about people cleaning up their bodily fluids.
twinklefluffie: You’re not the AH, that’s just nasty and disrespectful. It’s not your job to clean up after grown men who can’t aim. Keep reporting it and push your manager harder, he’s the one dropping the ball here.
CoCoaStitchesArt: NTA. If there’s HR complain there. These are grown humans, not babies, gender don’t matter; you don’t pee on the toilet seat and not do anything about it. Is there a janitor? If your complaining won’t help pee on the floor since it clearly doesn’t matter.
FeuerroteZora: NTA, and you might want to look into what your state regulations are around contact with bodily fluids. AFAIK that’s a workplace safety / OSHA issue, and asking you to deal with it on a regular basis may not even be legal. Document it – seriously, take pictures. This isn’t primarily a co-worker problem, it’s a management failure; that’s who to get mad at and that’s who needs to deal with it.
Kandidly_Kate: Just pee on the floor in front of the toilet and go whoops, I missed! See how quickly they complain.
Competitive-Chapter4: NTA. This a tricky one cause while I get the manager trying to remedy it by taking care of it himself, I feel like even if he made a company wide announcement/meeting, it would still be an issue.
illyth: I have enjoyed using a she wee while on backcountry camping trips, this sounds like a great application for it. NTA!
No-Assignment5538: NTA. Does your work have a human resources that you can complain to? Can you go to your boss’s boss? In no world should you be cleaning up urine unless you are the janitor who is being paid to do so.
StrategyAncient6770: NTA – grownups, both women AND men, are perfectly capable of keeping shared spaces clean. Your supervisor should be sending a company-wide reminder. Do you have an HR department?
ElenaMarkos: NTA. You should smear the toilet seat with period blood and make them clean it.
mind_the_umlaut: OP, you are NTA. WHY are men allowed to stand up and pee all over the seat and floor? WHY have they not been taught better? This is filthy. Come on, people, LEARN.
DoMilk: Hmmm. Get a sheewee, pee standing up, leave pee everywhere carelessly. Go about your day and wait for someone else to need to take a dump.
Syndromia: NTA and I’d be tempted to leave a streak of blood or ‘blood’ since cleaning up another’s bodily fluids isn’t a big deal. Probably a bad idea, but tempting.
1962Michael: NTA. You should never have to clean up after your fellow employees. In an all-male workplace, it makes sense to leave the seat up, but it doesn’t excuse this. Maybe try leaving the seat up as a social experiment.
DJ_Mixalot: Already so many men in these comments showing their asses. SMH. NTA.
Subject_Sandwich_897: Put a sign that embarrasses these children that clearly need mummy to clean up after them.
riceewifee: NTA, looks like your office needs a bathroom log to track down the seat pissers.
Familiar_Shock_1542: NTA. Go check it as soon as you arrive each day. Report as needed. Have they tried signage? Cameras? A janitor?
LolaB207: Leave period blood on the seat and see how they like it.
water_for-elbowz: Get a she-wee or just start pissing in the sink. Two can play this game.
Sufficient_Pain_5724: NTA. I noticed your manager has a problem with you continuing to bring it up, but doesn’t seem to be bothered by the fact that it keeps happening.
hyperside89: INFO – have you presented a solution to your manager? Maybe install those spring-loaded toilet seats that stay up automatically.
incarnate_devil: Time to get on their level. Leave your period in the toilet.
VPR2012: Stop going to your superior and go to HR.
SnooDogs7067: Hover. Then when the painters are in town, let some drop on the seat.
Oyster5436: NTA. This is straight out harassment based on OP’s gender. Supervisor should either solve it or escalate. Plenty of possible fixes: announcements, notices, urinals, even cameras outside the bathroom.
Salamanticormorant: Someone willing to piss on a toilet seat cannot be trusted to do any job reasonably well. If I was your boss’s boss, I’d fire your boss for failing to handle it.
Enough-Process9773: NTA for complaining every time – it’s disgusting behavior. Is there any chance of a separate women’s toilet?
frog-bert: Start peeing in the sink.
randybeans716: Idk if this is really their department, but maybe contact OSHA. You are literally being exposed to someone else’s bodily fluids on a regular basis.
chuckiestealady: NTA. disgusting behaviour from your colleagues.
Alitigator22: NTA. Also. https://www.shewee.com
Sea_Register1095: This seems like it must be on purpose. If so, it’s creating a hostile work environment — basically sexual harassment. No way grown men “can’t” aim.
_licenti0us: NTA – It’s probably your manager and that’s why nothing’s being done (kidding). But escalate: CC HR or his superior. This is unsanitary and your manager should not be upset at you.
itzasoo: NTA. I’d suggest providing she-wees or long funnels to all the men and say you hope it helps with the length issue.
Bored_Quebecoise: NTA, get a go girl device and stand up to pee. Or hover and let it build up until they have to clean it themselves.
Suitable_cataclysm: NTA. Has your boss even proven he raised this issue? A group email or warning could help. Or just install a urinal so standing men stop wrecking the shared toilet.
Source: Reddit