In a previous article, where I wrote about a trip that felt far removed from our everyday reality, about distances, flights, and situations that can slip out of control, I realized that the place itself was never really the issue, but rather the fear we don’t say out loud. If you want to understand where this feeling begins, you can read it here: The Dubai School Trip — and the Fear We Don’t Say Out Loud
I honestly believed that kind of fear belonged to “big” situations, the ones that stand out, that involve distance, visible risks, and decisions that feel difficult from the very beginning. It seemed to me that this was where parents split into two camps, those who say “yes” and those who say “no,” each convinced they are doing the right thing.
But a few days ago, I found myself facing a situation that, on paper, should not raise any concern at all, and yet it brought me back to that exact same place inside.
It wasn’t about a distant country, it wasn’t about flights or complicated logistics, but about a simple, almost ordinary school trip, with classmates, teachers, and activities that should normally be exactly the kind of experience you want your child to have.
And yet, the moment I heard the plan and started paying attention to the details, I felt the same thing I had felt before, only this time I no longer had the excuse of distance.
Because it was no longer about Dubai. It was about a lake.
It was about an activity that seemed completely harmless, where someone was going to show the children how to fish, about a few fishing rods shared between them, and about a situation that, for most people, would pass without a second thought.
But for a parent, things never remain that simple.
In a fraction of a second, what should have been a beautiful new experience turned into a chain of scenarios I never asked for, but that appeared anyway, with a clarity that doesn’t help at all. I was no longer seeing curious children and an adult explaining something to them, but carelessness, impulsivity, a wrong move, an accident that could happen without intention and without warning.
And that’s when I understood that the fear I wrote about before has nothing to do with distance, with Dubai, or with any place that seems “more dangerous” simply because it is far away.
The fear is exactly the same, even when your child is just a few hours away from you.
The difference is that, when things are close, you no longer have the “big” arguments to rely on, you can’t point to international tensions, canceled flights, or exceptional situations, and you are left only with yourself and the question you cannot avoid: where does care end and where does overthinking begin?
Because you can’t say it’s an obviously risky decision, but you also can’t fully ignore what you feel.
And maybe that is the most uncomfortable part of all these situations, the fact that it never really becomes simple. There is no age when you suddenly say, “from now on I won’t worry anymore,” and there is no context where risk completely disappears.
There are only moments when you choose.
You choose whether to let your child go, even though part of you is already imagining everything that could go wrong. You choose whether to accept that you won’t be able to control every detail and that, no matter how careful you are, there will always be a part you cannot cover.
And maybe the hardest part of all is choosing to live with the fact that good decisions are not always the ones that bring immediate peace, but the ones you can live with over time.
Because the truth is that we cannot build a world without risk for our children, but we can choose whether we prepare them for it or keep them away from it for so long that, when they inevitably face it, they don’t know how to handle it.
And maybe, in the end, it was never really about that trip, or about the lake, or the fishing rod, or even about Dubai.
It’s about the moment you begin to understand that you will never be completely at peace as a parent, and that instead of chasing that impossible peace, you slowly learn how to live with the worry without letting it decide for you.