Stranger’s Kid Messed With My Stuff – I Told Them Off. Was I Wrong?

AITA for scolding a stranger’s child for touching my stuff?

I (23F) was out for dinner with my family this evening. We went to a family-friendly restaurant and it was quite early, so there were lots of families with children. This one kid who was about 9/10 was yelling, running up and down the aisle between the tables and doing cartwheels (literally). It was annoying but we just ignored him and carried on with our meal. His mother was sat at their table talking to the adults she was with and completely ignoring her son apart from occasionally telling him to come and finish his food.

This paints a classic case of parental disengagement. Children who are left unsupervised in public often test boundaries — not because they’re malicious, but because they’re seeking attention and structure. The mother’s lack of intervention likely left the OP feeling she had no choice but to step in.

We were sat in a booth and I had my stuff on the bench next to me, including a hat. One of the many times he ran past our table, he stopped, picked up my hat and put it on. He then turned to run off when I said sharply, “Give that back, right now.” He took it off, gave it back, and looked embarrassed. I carried on by saying, “It is extremely rude to take other people’s things without asking, don’t do that again.” He glanced over to his mother several times as I spoke to him and when she noticed, she got up and came over to our table.

The OP’s reaction was instinctual — a protective response to a personal boundary being crossed. Children often respond to firm but clear correction, but embarrassment in front of peers or authority figures can heighten their shame. This explains the boy’s nervous glances at his mother.

His mum heard part of what I was saying as she came up to us and angrily told me to leave her son alone. I explained that he had taken my things and I was telling him not to, and she told me I shouldn’t stick my nose in and that as he’s “just a kid” I should have just let him play with the hat, or asked for it back nicely without scolding him.

AITA for telling off this child for touching my stuff?

EDIT TO ADD: For everyone worried about lice, I am not going to wear that hat again until I’ve had it professionally cleaned lol

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Ok_Image6174 — NTA, I have 4 kids and I would be absolutely appalled if they acted this way in public.

Lucy_the_wise_goosey — I seriously don’t know where these people get off…. my youngest is 11. He gets a hairy fucking eyeball if he even speak too loudly in a restaurant, much less runs around!!

We were in a nice mediterranean restaurant recently, and had a bunch of kids who kept doing the same. There were several mothers and fathers at the table, kids running a muck. Finally one of the fathers must have snapped because suddenly all the wives jumped up and squirreled the kids out, they came back sat still for 5 minutes and were at it again. It was particularly frustrating for me, because we did not bring our youngest alone. If I don’t want to spend the evening reminding my kid to use his inside voice, I sure as fuck don’t want yours running up-and-down the aisles beside my table nonstop.

jengaj2016 — …kids running *amok I don’t normally correct spelling but this is just such a fun word, I thought you might like to know the spelling.

fromhelley — Not defending the fathers for their lack of action. That’s a huge wormhole to go down. One stern word from my dad and I would behave for the rest of the night! Just going to credit them a point for at least acknowledging the kids were out of control.

phunkjnky — There is literally no mention of the fathers in the article, other adults yes, but no mention the fathers in particular.

Julienbabylegs — This is insane! Putting on a strangers hat?! My kid is 4 and he would never. NTA but I do feel bad for this kid they are being set up to fail.

Here_for_tea_ — NTA. She should be embarrassed at such a public display of her lack of good parenting. If the child had been taught appropriate boundaries and to have respect for others, and had actually been appropriately supervised, there would have been no issue.

A two year old struggles to understand consequences and the needs of others. A ten year old has no excuse for that kind of behaviour.

txa1265 — Exactly – as a parent I have told kids in restaurants to not hit me or sit at my table or try to touch my food and so on. The mum is a crappy parent looking to blame someone else for her lack of control of her kids.

… and if you find yourself in a similar situation again, turn it around on the parent “well, evidently someone has to be an adult and control your kids”. Kids should be able to stay at a table in a restaurant. If they are going to/from the bathroom and say hello to everyone, that is one thing … but roaming freely causing havoc? Nope.

hokena1 — I was once in a similar situation, but the kid thoughtfully had a red ballon on a string and was fist punching it, hitting people. I grabbed the balloon, kid still attached, and asked if it belonged to anybody. Mother came and retrieved immediately. I have raised twins and would never let them behave like that in a restaurant. Before even going in, I would ask, “Is this a playground?”, “No”.

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Source: Reddit