AITA for taking only my baby on holiday, leaving my 6-year-old with his teen brother and grandma?

I (34F) am married to DH (36M), and together we have three kids: a teenager (16M), a 6-year-old, and our youngest, a baby who just turned 8 months. Parenting three kids at such different stages is… well, let’s just say it’s not boring. Some days I feel like I’m juggling three completely different worlds — navigating high school drama with our eldest, school and playdates with the middle child, and sleepless nights and diaper changes with the baby.

Recently, DH and I decided to take a short holiday abroad. Nothing extravagant, just a week away in a sunny place to recharge. Here’s the controversial part: we took only the baby with us, and left our 6-year-old at home in the care of his teenage brother and my mom.

Our reasoning was this: both of our older kids have had their “special” moments in the past. When our eldest was a baby and toddler, he had us all to himself. We took him on holidays, doted on him, and gave him years of undivided attention before his younger siblings were even born. The same with our 6-year-old — he’s had family trips, beach days, and times where all eyes were on him before the baby came along. But our youngest? He hasn’t had that chance yet. This trip felt like an opportunity to create those first memories with just him — even if he won’t consciously remember them, we would, and it would still be special bonding time.

Now, I know how it sounds: “you left your middle child behind.” That phrasing alone makes it sound cruel. And yes, a 6-year-old is old enough to understand exclusion. At that age, fairness matters. He notices when his brother gets more ice cream, when bedtime rules feel inconsistent, or when the baby gets more attention. Kids are hyper-aware of being left out. That was my biggest hesitation — I didn’t want him to feel replaced by the baby.

But here’s the thing: he wasn’t abandoned. He stayed home with his older brother (who’s responsible and actually enjoys babysitting for short periods) and my mom, who adores him. They spoiled him with treats, movie nights, and playtime. When we got back, he seemed happy and well-adjusted, running to show me the Lego tower he had built while we were gone.

Meanwhile, the holiday itself was surprisingly peaceful. Traveling with just the baby felt almost easy compared to wrangling three kids. We didn’t have to worry about keeping a 6-year-old entertained on a long flight or dealing with the teen rolling his eyes at everything. It was just us, the baby, and quiet bonding moments — sitting on the beach, going for stroller walks, enjoying meals without chaos. Honestly, I think it was the most relaxed I’ve felt in years.

Here’s where the drama started: I posted a TikTok about our “first holiday with just the baby,” thinking it was a sweet moment. The video went viral, and suddenly the internet had opinions — lots of them.

Some people were supportive. They said things like, “Every child deserves their own special time with parents” and “One-on-one bonding is so important, especially when there are multiple kids.” They pointed out that it’s hard to carve out time for each child, and this trip was a thoughtful way to make memories with the youngest.

But then there were the harsh comments. People accused me of being unfair, of neglecting my middle child, of setting him up for lifelong resentment. Words like “cruel” and “favoritism” got thrown around. Some said I was treating my kids unequally and that my 6-year-old would grow up feeling excluded and unloved.

And I’ll admit — those comments got to me. Because deep down, I had worried about the same thing. I keep replaying the scenario in my head: Will my 6-year-old look back one day and feel hurt that he wasn’t included? Will he see pictures of us on the beach with the baby and think he was left behind? Am I planting the seeds of sibling rivalry without even realizing it?

At the same time, though, I know we try very hard to balance things. When the 6-year-old had his birthday, the day was all about him. We’ve taken him on family trips where the baby stayed home with grandma. He’s had movie nights, special outings, and so many moments of individual attention. This wasn’t about excluding him — it was about giving the baby something similar, since babies don’t usually get those experiences as the youngest in the family.

It’s also worth mentioning that fairness in parenting doesn’t always mean identical treatment. Sometimes it means giving each child what they uniquely need at their stage of life. A baby needs constant care. A teenager needs independence. A 6-year-old needs reassurance and play. Treating them “the same” doesn’t always make sense — and it’s impossible anyway.

Still, I can’t ignore the emotional side. Kids don’t think in nuanced terms. To a 6-year-old, “Mom and Dad went on holiday without me but took the baby” might just feel like favoritism, no matter what the real reasoning was. And because perception matters as much as reality when it comes to kids, I’m second-guessing myself.

Since coming back, I’ve been extra intentional about spending time with my 6-year-old. We’ve had ice cream dates, story times, and playground visits — just the two of us. He seems happy, and so far, he hasn’t expressed jealousy about the trip. But I keep wondering if I did something that will stick in his mind later.

So here I am, internet strangers: AITA for leaving my 6-year-old behind so we could take the baby on his “first holiday”? Was it unfair and exclusionary, or just a reasonable choice to give each child their special moments?