AITA for not paying gas money to someone for giving me a ride somewhere he was already going?
This story happened a long time ago but it actually came up at a recent high school reunion I attended so I thought I’d put this here and get a final answer.
At my high school seniors with cars were allowed to leave campus to eat lunch. One day a guy who was in the same club as I was, lets call him Trent, was leaving to go eat at a place nearby. When he said where he was going another kid and I thought that sounded good and we asked if we could ride with him and eat together. He said yes. We all hop into his car and go to the restaurant (5 minute drive). We get there, order, eat, then leave. After we get back Trent says to me and the other guy that we owe him money for the ride to pay for gas. I honestly thought he was joking at first, but he was serious. The other guy ended up giving him like a dollar because Trent wouldn’t let it go, but I refused. He was pissed and after that I never really hung out with him again after that.
This moment highlights a clash between two value systems—communal versus transactional. The OP assumed the ride was based on shared convenience and social bonding, a gesture of friendliness. Trent, on the other hand, framed the same act as a transaction that required compensation. Often, when expectations are misaligned in relationships, what seems “cheap” to one person feels “fair” to another. This mismatch can fracture trust quickly, especially in adolescence where social belonging and reciprocity are highly sensitive.
I can certainly understand wanting some reimbursement for driving someone somewhere if they had to make a trip just for you or they had to go way out of their way. But Trent was already taking the trip anyway whether we were in the car or not and he didn’t have to change his route in any way to accommodate us. For clarity, yes I did have a car, and yes I could have driven myself, but I was on the opposite side of this exact scenario all the time in high school. I gave people I knew rides to places I was already going and I never once considered charging. I just find the idea of it extremely tacky.
The OP frames the refusal not as selfishness, but as part of a personal code of fairness rooted in generosity. Their past experiences reinforce the belief that rides given “along the way” are acts of social goodwill, not financial exchanges. This also hints at identity and integrity—OP resists contributing to a norm they perceive as transactional because it conflicts with their own self-concept of generosity.
People from my old friend group are still split all these years later. Some agree with me and think Trent was being cheap, but others say that he provided a service that would have cost me something had I done it myself and it’s fine for him to expect something in return. Was I the asshole?
The fact that this memory resurfaces at a reunion suggests that it had an outsized emotional impact—not just on OP, but on the group’s dynamics. The split opinions reflect a broader psychological divide between those who adopt a market-based mindset (every action can carry a cost-benefit exchange) and those who operate on a communal mindset (friendship and generosity trump calculation). These differences often persist into adulthood, shaping not just friendships but also approaches to work, family, and trust.
What the community members said about this:
switch3flip: It was just a short ride so he’s kinda cheap to be asking for like $1 of gas money, but sure, I’d have no problem giving it to him if it was important to him, I kinda think YTA for blatantly refusing. If its no big deal to you why make such a big deal out of it? You’re worse than him, technically he’s more in the right than you are.
KiwiCat15: NTA. If he wanted to charge you, he should’ve let you know up front before the ride.
LawyerDad1981: “People from my old friend group are still split…”
Then people from your old friend group need to get a hobby, get a life, get a job, or get laid. In whatever order they need most.
The fact that ANYONE is even discussing what can’t be more than 30 cents worth of gasoline more than a day after the event boggles my mind.CaptBenjaminSisko: I wouldn’t ask for money for such a short trip BUT obviously YTA. The fact that he was driving there was just as irrelevant as if you showed up at the airport and said “hey that planes going to Atlanta can I just hop on?” The answer is no. You ride you owe for gas.
kipsterdude: YTA, but only because you’re reading like you don’t feel like there was a need to pay. It would have been nice to at least offer to pay, whether he took you up on it or not. I used to drive people from San Francisco to my College an hour-ish away, and they used to talk about how much to give me, and I was fine with them giving $5 to offset the cost of gas (this was in the 90s). I would haven made the trip with our without them but helping defray the cost of gas was always a help.
Lower-Temperature-21: YAH. You asked for the lift, so you pay up. It doesn’t really matter if he was going there or not. He is cheap to ask for money for a 5 minute trip though.
lilipadd17: NTA. Lol it was a 5 min drive to somewhere he was going as u said. I guess you could have given him some pocket change, but it sounds like he just wanted money? Did he ever give you a specific amount to pay?
StatisticianFar7690: YTA.
Aesperacchius: NTA, expectation of payment should’ve been declared upfront instead of at the end.
Constant_Flight_2525: You are if you expect to keep getting rides.
YATAHjgturbo619: YTA.
Gas, Grass or a?$, nobody rides for free.
Here.. Have a hit on me soda..All I gots.
We good? Yah, we good.
Stkrow: YTA. This is small now but if you ever need a favor or a ride in the future the person is going to be remembering this
Butactually1966: In high school, no one ever had money so yes you should’ve offered.
Mnementh85: NTA
Because any payment need to be told before the ride begin
And you can apply that to anything
If someone expect to get money, he need to make it clear from the startImaginaryAd5712: YTA you always offer gas money even if you are going to the same place.
Glyphwind: He said he was going, you jumped on that and asked to go. You could of offered a Dollar.
underwater_owl: ESH If he expected payment, he should have told you up front. You should have offered to kick in a little cash for the trip. Charging is tacky but not offering to throw a small amount of cash their way is also tacky.
Dittoheadforever: Meh… NAH really. Not big ones anyway. Maybe you should have offered, or at least said tomorrow I’ll drive after he was asking for gas money but this is such a minor thing to be hung up on years later.
People from my old friend group are still split all these years later
Has nothing else happened in any of their lives since high school? I can’t even imagine remembering something so small from so many years ago, though I suppose it’s possible I’ve been out of HS a lot longer than you have.MonstroParrandero: NTA-Also how long ago was this? Was it when gas was less than a $1? Because if it was I would have told him to go kick rocks for the reasons you already said
adogand2cats: NAH. Way back when, we had a coffee can (yeah, I’m that old) with a slot in the lid for gas money. As broke teens, every bit helped keep us going places. But we never pressured anyone to contribute.
Dizzy_Needleworker_3: NTA because it was a 5 mins drive, so very small amount of money.
But them already going the same way is meaningless. The one rule of hitchhiking is you pay with gas/cash, grass, or ass. Even if they are going the same way/location, and don’t have to deviate at all, imI would say for anything more than like 15/30 mins you chip in for gas.Complex-Web9670: NTA If it was a long trip (1+ hours), then it would be right to give them some cash for their time and driving. He said he was going for lunch anyway and it was a 5 minute trip so it’s bullshit for him to ask you for gas money. I’ve given plenty of people rides for up to 30 minutes out of my way just because I know it can be tough to get around.
verdebot: nta This is a win win situation. You win a ride and the car owner wins social points and safety while last the riding and maybe something little extra in the future. Not all winnings are money but there have to be something in the trade for the ride.
Recent_Nebula_9772: Trent is TA. I agree with you.
Ok-Knowledge9154: Also OP asked for the ride, he didn’t offer you one, and OP was too lazy to walk to their own car to drive themself and their friend so ya YTA.
Fast-Bag-36842: Some friend you are lmao. Imagine charging somone over a 5 minute drive.
Silent_Morning692: A 5 minute ride = maybe 5 miles. Assuming his car got 20 mpg, that’s 1/4 gallon of gas. At $4 per gallon, that’s $1.00. Divided by 5 people, your share was $0.20. You screwed the other drivers for $0.05 each. Not sure how you can look them in the eye.
NTA
Recent_Nebula_9772: Ahahaha. Right?Source: Reddit