Recently, I came across a Facebook post that sparked hundreds of reactions. A child was left without his kendama — a trendy toy that meant a lot to him — after an older boy asked to borrow it “just to show a trick,” and then ran off with it.
It might seem like a minor story. But the reactions showed that it was far from minor.
In fact, it says a lot about how we think, educate, and excuse behavior.
“Oh, come on, they’re just kids!”
What surprised me most were the comments trying to excuse the thief:
“Oh, come on, they’re just kids messing around!”
“Relax, it’s just a toy, get another one!”
“Don’t worry, it’s all in good fun between boys.”
This kind of reaction minimizes the act and places responsibility on the victim: the child “should have been more careful,” “shouldn’t have given it,” “should have known better.”
Psychologists warn that this approach can affect children’s moral development. “When we tell young children that stolen things are ‘just a joke,’ they learn that rules and boundaries are optional,” explains Dr. Marinescu, clinical psychologist.
“If I want a house, why can’t I steal one?”
Among the comments were some sharp reminders from parents:
“If my son wants an iPhone, should I send him to take it from another kid?”
“If I want a house and don’t have the money, should I just steal one? Is it really ‘no big deal’?”
Psychologists note that such discussions are important. They help children distinguish between desire and moral action. “It’s essential to understand that stealing is never a solution, even when the reason seems justified. Children need to learn empathy and responsibility, not that they are entitled to take what isn’t theirs.”
The “Universe Made Me Do It” Category
There were also absurd and humorous comments:
“If the boy stole it, he must have manifested it in the universe. The universe sent him the perfect victim.”
Funny, yes — but problematic. Using spirituality to explain or excuse theft doesn’t change reality: a child took something that didn’t belong to him.
Dr. Popescu, a child and adolescent psychologist, points out: “Instead of making excuses, we need to teach children to manage their desires, accept limits, and respect others’ belongings. Jokes or karma do not replace proper guidance.”
What Do These Reactions Say About Us?
They reveal a real issue with boundaries.
They show that we struggle to distinguish between childhood and behaviors that need correction.
They show fear of clearly saying: stealing is not okay — at any age, regardless of value or object.
Psychologists recommend parents discuss consequences and responsibility with their children. “The child who lost the item learns that not everyone follows rules, but that there are adults who protect him. The child who steals learns that actions have consequences and that he cannot escape responsibility,” says Dr. Marinescu.
Lessons from This Story
- Theft is theft, no matter the age.
- Minimizing a victim does no one any good.
- Education takes time and clear boundaries, not excuses.
- Ignored small behaviors can become bigger problems later.
- Respect and empathy are learned at home.
- “They’re just kids” is never a justification for aggression or theft.
Dr. Popescu emphasizes: “During the early school years, children learn about rules, fairness, and limits. It’s crucial that parents and teachers do not ignore these lessons. Stealing a toy may seem minor, but it is a moral test for children.”
In the End, It’s Not Just About the Kendama
It’s about how we relate to others.
About teaching children to be empathetic and fair.
About the ways we normalize behaviors that should never be normalized.
A kendama can be replaced.
A child’s trust and sense of safety? Much harder.